Yes as a matter of fact I am a bundle of nerves. Tried to stay distracted today. I had brunch with a friend, paid bills, took my bicycle in the shop for repairs (won't be needing that for a while), and talked to my mom...who is coming out to Denver to play nurse for a couple of weeks beginning 3 days after the surgery.
I have had what many might consider to be a rough past year. In that time period I have 1) suffered a major breakup after a 6 year relationship, 2) was laid off, 3) started a new job, 4) moved out of a neighborhood I loved, and now 5) have a significant health issue. Now those five probably are 5 of the top 10 causes of stress in one's life and I have had them all in one year. Woe is me huh? Well the year sucked and I somehow continue to enjoy life. Not sure if that is because I am naive, brain dead, emotionally void, or what....but I just would not characterize myself as depressed...even though maybe I should be. Am I down a little...yea...but I am ready to get on with this...and put this behind me.
I have a friend that is battling pancreatic cancer and there is this little saying my ex-wife is fond of saying and which I have adopted too...."well...it's not pancreatic cancer". So anytime I feel down...I just try to tell myself "well...it's not pancreatic cancer"...and it helps...because really my life is pretty good.
I have a job I love, two really cool kids, a bunch of people pulling for me, and even an ex wife that likes me (and I like her too). Yea I wish I had a "special someone" in my life and yea I wish I did not have to have surgery tomorrow...but I am financially stable/successful, doing some really fun things in my life, and in general my life is good. I have a structural problem in my back, a good diagnosis...a highly qualified, skilled, & experienced surgeon...and physical fitness and good "overall" health on my side. "It's not pancreatic cancer".
I am not a religious man...but I DO believe in positive human energy and spirit....and I thank all of those who have said they are thinking of me, are praying for me, and are sending positive energy my way. I have turned into such a sap over the last 5 years....the emotional human things in life...mean so much more to me...than all the material possessions in the world. I am sitting here writing this...and tears are welling up...because of how kind people have been to me regarding this. Yea...this is not a big deal....but there is something that has touched me very profoundly through all of this...and I am riding that wave of good energy.
I am ready for it to be 24 hours from now...yes I will likely be in a lot of pain...but the recovery begins at about 5:30 MDT tomorrow when they roll me out of the recovery room. This had been a long trying year for me...it is time for things to start going right...lets get this done!
p.s....I would LOVE visitors in the hospital so if you feel inspired please stop by...or call...or whatever...I would love to hear from you (in person, text messages, email, Facebook, whatever)...just touch base with me somehow...contact/hospital information below.
Craig
craig.goudy@gmail.com
Rose Medical Center
4567 E. 9th Ave.
Denver, CO 80220
Main Switchboard: 303-320-2121
I am saying a prayer for you tonight! I know you are not religious and I am not very religious but Mom brought us up in church and I believe there is a God and he answers our prayers. I would come and visit if I lived in Denver or close by! Love ya! Lynn
ReplyDeleteNot sure why I'm up at 4 am, but since I am I thought I'd send a little note your way...I hope you're in the middle of a really great dream, but it's more likely that you're awake and anxious about your surgery. Just think...12 hours from now, recovery starts, aided by massive amounts of morphine and the amazing spirit and strength that has gotten you through this past difficult year. Slow deep breaths...they really work! Talk to you later, xo June
ReplyDeleteHoly Shit!! Craig Goudy! We didn't even know you were in physical pain. I am so glad I decided to go into Facebook tonight. It's rare that I do go there. I must have had a vibe. So, I think you had surgery this afternoon if I'm reading things right. And I will call hospital tomorrow to see when visiting hours are. Wow! Well, you are in my thoughts and prayers now, and I hope your recovery is as fast as possible. We'll be in touch. You are one big sweetheart. Betty
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